My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
do nipples grow back?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize