Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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