Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
