My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
