i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
