That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize