What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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