She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
