Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
