hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
hell yes lets make some ravioli
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
