WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
