I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
