So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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