If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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