OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Hippo gnu deer
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
