Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
