: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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