Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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