Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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