Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
