you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
