just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
