I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
