Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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