no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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