i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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