Rock
Scissors
Fuck
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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