About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
