Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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