Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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