i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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