the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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