Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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