is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
