Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
