i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
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