im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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