the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
