she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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