I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize