I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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