im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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