We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
