im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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