My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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