And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize