yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Randomize
