I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
