I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
