Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
