he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
