dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
she smelled like a LAN party
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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