we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
