My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
