Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
