I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
