Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
