Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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