just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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