YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
