So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
