real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
