So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
