I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
bring money and cleavage
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
