dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize