bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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