Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Randomize
