You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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