Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
we made out on top of his cat.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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