I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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